Friends Are the Family We Choose

In any circumstance being a good wife is never a piece of cake, but being an Army wife is a whole new level of difficult. I am lucky that our first (and only duty station) was to Ft. Campbell, which is really close to our hometown, and I'm thrilled that our first PCS will be out of the Army and to the town of OUR choosing. The problem is sometimes I feel like I haven't spent my time wisely.
Living close to home is great, but such a tease. It's close enough that I am willing to visit friends, but rarely do any travel to visit me. I'm only two hours away, but it's just far enough that if I'm having a bad day and need a friends shoulder to cry on the drive is just far enough to not feel like making. I have met some amazing Army wives in my three years here, but that's just the thing... they're Army wives and they all eventually move away. The emotional toll finally got the best of me to the point that I have started to guard my heart and would rather not have friends then loose friends to a different state. (I mean I can only afford so many plane tickets to visit them all lol). I fell like I have wasted to much time with wives who didn't really care about me, and not spent enough time with the one's who really do. I feel like I wasted precious girl time to silly things like sleeping in, and being sick, and reading books all day. When I was sick while I was pregnant with Liam my friendship statuses really changed. I learned who the girls were that just befriended me for an image and the ones who truly cared about me. Then no sooner then I got better I lost the wife who probably cared the very most about me. I feel like there are so many ladies that I just didn't get to know enough before they pcs'd and I really regret it.
Then there are the wives who I truly cared about who ditched me, or moved and never kept in contact. That almost hurts the most. I even went through the emotional toll of being with a friend during a surgery who stopped breathing and I had a nervous break down about it and felt closer than ever when I found out she was ok and now we never speak. I know the phone goes both ways, but you also know when to just take a step back. Finally there are the wives who you adore, but they have wicked friends who treat you like dirt and bully you, so you have to just give up a valued friendship to keep your own dignity.
Taking on the status of Army Wife is tough. I would never trade the past three years, because there have been good times and I have grown and learned so much, but I am glad that this status in my life will be laid to rest soon. I am ready to be a "has been" instead of an "is."

My point to all this, is that mommies need friends and support sometimes, but in this day and age they are harder and harder to come by. Friends are the family you choose and that is a vital thing to teach your children. I just feel like I have failed a little in this area. I definitely choose my friends more wisely now, but wish so much that I still had some of the true ones close by instead of hundreds of miles away. I am fixing to loose my only really close Army wife left to a different state and I am really upset about it, but so thankful I met her and already have a visit lined up (even though she hasn't even moved yet haha).

I want Liam to choose his friends wisely and to always trust mommy and daddy if we think that he has made a bad choice. Not only that though, but I want him to be a good friend and to value his friendships. You need friends and you also never are guaranteed tomorrow with them. I personally have lost my fair share of freinds    starting in just the sixth grade, so I want Liam to cherish his friends and the moments they spend together. I don't want a terrible fight or argument to end a good thing. Teach your babies well mommies. We have lived and learned and now it's our time to teach.
Mommy on,
Liam's Mommy