Once I became pregnant I started to realize that it seemed like everyone I knew was pregnant or trying to get pregnant. It opened my eyes more to the mom friends I already had and their everyday ways of life, and the pregnant ones too. I wish I could say that being pregnant was just this easy, enjoyable experience, but for me it was anything but that. I started getting morning sickness around 7 weeks and this "24/7 sickness" as I quickly began to call it lasted for 17 weeks. I was in a constant state of nausea to the point that I was on nausea medicine that they give to cancer patients and even that barely worked half the time. I was also very weak and went over 50 days without even stepping foot out of my house unless it was to go to the doctor. I missed a ton of school which caused some very good grades to become not so good. I had frequent heartburn and acid reflex to boot. It's safe to say that most of my pregnancy I was miserable and I just wanted this incredible gift from God in my arms and not in my stomach. I don't know how people can say they actually "like" being pregnant. The women who say that just cannot have endured what I did while being pregnant.
On top of the realization that pregnancy isn't everything it's cracked up to be, and that for some people morning sickness doesn't go away, I also had a crash course in the realization that miscarriages happen way more often then I ever thought, and to people that I really care about. While I was pregnant I knew seventeen people who were pregnant, but only 8 of those seventeen babies were actually born... the rest were miscarried. This concept was so hard for me to understand... I just didn't want to except that this was happening to people who I cared for so much. The second friend I told about being pregnant came back at me with miscarriage information of her own. Then a dear friend of mine had one too. I literally hid from her at school for like 2 weeks because I didn't want her to know I was pregnant and make her hurt worse for loosing her babies. Then a baby was lost the day of my baby shower. It's just so terrible and there's really no way to approach it. I felt so helpless because I hurt for these friends, but I was so thankful for my own baby. I felt like I couldn't be happy or talk about Liam to them though because I didn't want to bring up sad emotions.
I'll never understand why teen girls carelessly get pregnant, and yet women with masters degrees who want a baby more then anything and can actually financially support them can't get pregnant. Or why women who say they never want kids get pregnant, and yet women who want babies have miscarriages. There are some thing's in life that you will just never understand, but I just have to personally stand strong on Jeremiah 29:11. I wear this verse on my wrist everyday in the form of a tattoo because it is a constant reminder to me that I can make it through the day.
What I'm trying to get at is that pregnancy is a life changing experience and it's different for everyone. For some it's a joyous time, for some a sickly time, and for some a time that ends all to soon. It is a time to get to know your body and its strengths and limitations more then ever before, a time to grow up as an individual, and a time to make sure you have your priorities right and cease everyday and every moment. It's an experience like none you've ever had before and I am so thankful that I am living it and can't wait to share it with you.
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